Good Influences

Another thing I'm using this trip for: to try to naturally wean a friend from relying so much on me. He went through a catastrophic breakup recently (and by catastrophic, I mean restraining orders and felony accusations). He's been with the girl for 6 years, and he's known her for 12. I think that he's essentially trying to replace her with me. Constant messaging, compliments, and the occasional drunk messaging spree (on his side) all send the same message: Danger, Will Robinson!

I am not interested in saving anyone any more than I am interested in being saved. I truly believe that no one can be saved by another, at least not as regards anything other than the physical. We all have the capacity, and indeed, the responsibility to save ourselves.We might get a helping hand now and again, but the majority and the motivation MUST come from within.

So all that is to say that I am trying to accept that I can't save him and that in the effort to do so, I could very easily be dragged down by him. I need to surround myself with people who inspire me and make me a better person and he isn't one of them. I could write all the reasons why but the short version is that when I get caught up in talking to him, l drink too much and stay up too late. Then the sleep deprivation leads to me feeling crappy and depressed and that leads to more bad decisions...  Vicious cycle.

So I've been avoiding him with this trip as an excuse. I just have to find a way to keep it up now that I've returned. Never thought I'd say this, but I kind of miss his girlfriend!

I'll just leave this quote from Louisa May Alcott's Rose in Bloom:

I don't know how others feel, but, to me, love isn't all. I must look up, not down, trust and honor with my whole heart, and find strength and integrity to lean on. I have had it so far, and I know I could not live without it.